Saturday, July 4, 2015

I Should B sharing the hospital stay

While in the hospital I wanted J to spend as little time as possible alone. Al was with him as much as possible. I will admit that I am sad that I don't have those first moments as a family pictures from the hospital. You know the ones I am talking about where the mom dad and baby squish their faces together just after birth as their first family photo. Yeah we have nothing. We don't have any family photos in the hospital. Our focus was not photos it was our baby's health and my recovery. 
Al would take pictures of J and send them to me so I could at least see what he looked like. I was not allowed out of my room until I was able to get up and in a wheelchair. I was determined to be walking ASAP. I wanted to see my baby. So 28 hours after delivery I got out of bed and walked (slowly and not too far) to the wheelchair. I got to hold my baby and that was all that mattered. 

Have any of you been in a "baby and me" room? It is a big room with space to have baby with you. At our hospital it is a n entire wing full of these rooms. They are great if you have your baby actually with you. If you were like me and your baby was on the other side of the hospital it sucks. Hearing other babies with their mothers and me being without mine was HARD. I cried A LOT. Al did a good job of keeping me updated and my sister stayed as much as she could but she had her own family to tend to. At three days after delivery they were ready to discharge me. By then I was walking to the NICU by myself (I only used the wheelchair the first two trips) multiple times a day. I was only in my room when I was forced to be (more than I liked). I discovered I am allergic to Percocet too. That was just loads of fun, not really. They were not ready to discharge J yet. His oxygen was still not good and although his heart was better they wanted more tests run. He also had to be able to breathe room air for 24 hours. Leaving the hospital without my baby is something else I never prepared myself for and I was determined to not let it happen. I discussed with the nurse how I couldn't leave him. I was an emotional wreck. Those poor people. We weren't eligible for the Ronald McDonald House since we didn't live out of county. My doctor said since my insurance would cover 4 days in the hospital I could stay one more day. I was so thankful. I think J knew it was time to get stuff done. In that last day he progressed so well. The scans of his heart came back normal and his oxygen was the best yet. They discharged me from the hospital at 4pm that fourth day. J was still in the NICU. There was no way I was leaving him. He had his own private room in the NICU (this was a fancy NICU). They put one of those hospital recliner chairs in his room and I was ready to camp there as long as I had to. The hospital is ready for moms like me. You can have meals delivered for you to the baby's room and there are lounges to go to with refreshments and snacks. Also a place to shower if need be. Was it comfortable and ideal? No, but all that mattered is I was with my baby. J's doctors came in and saw me there. I let them know I wasn't leaving. I wanted to be there I needed to know how he was doing. Honestly, I needed to be there. Al was the first face J saw. Al was there for him when I couldn't be. He changed his first diaper, gave him his first bottle with my colostrum, and was the first person he smiled at and held his hand. J and Al had a bond (and still do) that I didn't have and could ever get in that way. It should be noted that J and I do have a bond now but I will always regret not being able to be there for those firsts. I am happy and proud that Al was able to be there and that it wasn't a stranger but, still. Okay back to the NICU. J's doctors saw my determination and either I scared then or they were caring, I like to think caring. That they decided to hopefully get J discharged on day 4 too. J was discharged at 11pm. He had passed all his tests and was breathing well. Looking back I wonder if they discharged him too soon but things are okay so it all worked out. 
Remember how I mentioned I was a hard IV stick? It should be noted that J inherited this trait. While in the NICU they had an IV in his hand, arm and foot. They eventually had to place it in his head. That was not a pretty sight. His veins just are stubborn like mommy's. My IV was moved around quite a bit while in the hospital too. 

All in all the hospital stay was okay. The NICU was absolutely fantastic and I am grateful to them for teaching us how and what to do with J. Such as diaper changes, bath time and administering medicines. My experience in the "baby and me" room left me slightly traumatized. Waking up without your baby while listening to others with theirs is the worst. I can't even put the feelings into words. I also had a craptastic LC. She never showed up. My sister had to get loud (yep she is one of those) to even get me a breast pump. I had to watch a YouTube video to figure out how to use it. Nobody ever showed me how to even nurse J ! 
But none of that matter when we were headed home as a family of three. 

Hugs to you Bloggie World

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