Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I Should B less angry

Okay so things have not gotten better. 

My sister was admitted to the hospital on Saturday and is scheduled for open chest (to avoid spinal area and limit chances if paralysis) surgery on Thursday. 

This is not how things were supposed to happen. She was supposed to start radiation treatment this coming week. 

Luckily she told her children on Friday so they were not in total shock. 

My sister did not tell me about her being admitted to the hospital until yesterday. She said it was to not worry me or the baby. Ugh ! Why in the world does she think like this?!? I am her medical proxy I HAVE to be informed. She just doesn't seem to comprehend this. 

So the last two days I have gone to the hospital to go over things and hang out after I get out of work. 

I am angry at my family and at this entire unfair situation. 

My mother brought my sisters children to the hospital to see her. On the way she bought the kids dinner. After their visit was over she had the nerve to ask for money from my sister to remburse her for gas/food/parking monies that she spent. WTF?!? I know that it was maybe $30 total. I know my mother has some money. And why in the world is this amount of money so important when her daughter is having open chest surgery in a few days?!? Why in the world can't she stop thinking of herself for a minute and focus on the fact that her 36 year old daughter is laying in a hospital bed?!?

Then there is my niece. She is 15. This week is homecoming week. Homecoming is on Saturday. She had a date who canceled on her after finding out his parents are getting a divorce. He told her he just didn't feel up to going and wanted to spend time with the family. You would think her world is over, nope. She called me today wanting to know if I can take her to get her nails done in Friday. Umm how bout you stop thinking of yourself for one minute and think about your only mother going into surgery she may not live through?!? There are other dances. You only have one mother!!! And while we are at it how about you actually come home after school like you are supposed to and help around the house? 

I just cannot comprehend why nobody else wants to spend time with my sister. Will this be the end for her? No, I don't think so. But dang what if it is?? 

Then, my DH tells me he will be at a buddies house to watch football on Thursday. He said, " if you think I need to be at the hospital let me know." Hmmm let's see, your pregnant wife's sister is having major surgery and God forbid something should go wrong but gee she might need you support... Why would he not think of this?!?! It is just a football game !!!

Why is it my responsibility to be the one to decide who should or should not be there?? Everyone should be there! Not because I said it was the right thing to do but because they WANT to be there. 

If this were DH sibling I would be there without question. 

This could be pregancy hormones talking. 

This could be fear talking. 

This could be anger talking. 

This could be love talking. 


This could be all those feelings and more talking ...

Bloggie world please keep our family in your thoughts this week and appreciate yours. 


  1. I can only imagine all the emotions you are going through right now. It at times feels like a never ending roller coaster. All I can say is your sister and family are in our thoughts at the Rapp household. I hope for the best possible outcome all around.

  2. Sending nothing but prayers and positive thoughts your way (((hugs)))

  3. Thinking of you this week. It sounds like you are the one handling everything. I know it will be so very hard but take care of yourself also. HUGS

  4. Ahh Heather. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this in addition to your pregnancy. I'm sorry your sister is sick and I do hope the surgery is successful and she heals quickly without additional worries. I don't understand your mom. She is Grandma for crying out loud! As for your niece worrying about the dance...maybe it's a good thing for her to focus on other things rather than worrying about her mom gearing up for major surgery. I'm sure she is probably scared to death and just doesn't know how to deal with that. She's a teenager, and I find that teenagers are often frustrating :) Hugs Heather!