Today I blog to get all my emotions out about a crappy situation that I am trying to not overwhelm and drown me.
Before I go further, baby boy and I are fine. I am high risk with gestational diabetes and 27w3d.
This post is about my sister.
Since my last post there has not been too much to update. I have not been able to attend appointments with her as I now have a day shift full time job and have to attend my own appointments. About 2 hours ago, I called her for our normal weekly chats. She said she had stuff to update me on. She started with that she has not been telling things for fear on how it would affect me and the baby. This upsets me because I'm not overly fragile and it is easier to hear a little at a time then have it all thrown at you. Well she threw it at me today...
She has radiation treatment coming up and a scan. They fear the cancer has spread further as she is losing feeling on her right side. She has been given a TEN PERCENT chance of coming out of the surgery to remove the current tumor and not be paralyzed. That is not a high number. I am her person to decide things for her once she is under and until she wakes up. Today she sobbed and cried at me that if she comes out of surgery paralyzed to not let her live as that is not a life she wants. I know it doesn't work like that unless her brain function is affected too but to hear my sister ask this of me is breaking me. She lives to be active and outdoors. I know if she were paralyzed it would be awful but at least she would still be here. I explained the legal stuff of how it all works but I'm still in shock.
She wants to prolong the surgery so she can be around for little guys birth. No matter what there will never be a good time for this.
I am still prosessing. I am sorry I am not writing happy things and only update when I am overwhelmed. This is my overwhelmed let out place.
I will do my best to keep at this blogging stuff.
Please pray that the odds are in her favor.
Hug your loved ones Bloggie world and have a good night
Oh Heather, I am so sorry. What a difficult and heart wrenching position to be in. You're right, those are not good odds, but I hope they will truly be in your sister's favor. Being paralyzed isn't a life that ANYONE wants, but you are also right in that at least she would be alive and here. I hope it doesn't come down to that, but I also hope that if it does, that your sister will be able to go into her new life as a determined woman and learn how to be active despite her limitations. It is always difficult to hear about stuff like that, especially so when you have so much going on. Hugs to you, my Friend. No need to feel guilty about letting it all out through your blog. This is your space to use as an outlet.
ReplyDeleteHeather I have tears in my eyes. I'm sorry this is all happening and it sounds like such a horrible position to be in. I just said I prayer for her that she makes it through surgery with minimal complications and for you and your family for peace during this time. Sending you big hugs!
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