I Should B hard at work

I am typing this while at work! SHHH... don't tell. I feel like such a rebel! I am not in any way ignoring my job duties. The time is 0500 (we use military time at work), the patients are asleep and the phones are quiet ( I probably just jinxed it all). I am in my office where I've caught up on all my paperwork and am "watching" (really more like listening) to my favorite movie The Santa Clause. I know tomorrow will be different so I am taking advantage of the oportunity.

Today is my first day back to work in seven days. Don't worry I wasn't sick or anything. I was actually on vacation for seven blissful days. Five days were spent at the Disney Resort Coranado Springs for our anniversary. As of 12/12/13 we have been married for ONE YEAR. This may not seem like a long time for some but for me it is HUGE. If you didn't know this is my second marriage. My first marriage I am pretty sure I was drugged or in a state of psychosis because I have NO CLUE why I was with him or even married him. Some people say "Love is blind" I think i was just plain BLIND. Anyways, my first marriage was something I try to forget about but of course some things stick with you whether you want them to or not. The things that stick with me are all terrible events that ended in physical and emotional pain (I don't want to dwell on that now). In hindsight, my first marriage was over before it began; however, it was "over" after three months, we seperated after 6 months, filed for divorce at 11 months and finalized at 16 months. I love my current husband more than words can say but those scared feelings will creep up on me sometimes. Now that we have made it past the first year milestone I know that I will be experiencing those scared feelings less and less. :-) Our anniversary trip was great and I would love to share photos with you but since I'm on a work computer I don't have access to them. I'll try to upload some once I get home.

Right three days before our vacation began I got a +OPK. I got another +OPK the next day. I was so excited to get these before or trip so we would not have to stress about TI. I have been checking my BBT daily however due to my crazy sleep schedule the temps have been all over the place and taken at different times each day (like hours different). I did bring my BBT thermometer on our trip. While on vacation, we woke up at the same time each day so my temps were "regular" I got my temp rise five days after my first +OPK. I have no clue if it was because I ovulated more than 48 hours after my +OPK or because I was finally taking my BBT at the same time each day. ANY insight from you Bloggie World is welcomed!! So we either timed it right or missed it completly. It would be wonderful for this to be our Christmas miracle but, I don't want to get my hopes up. I did ask the Magic 8 Ball at work if this is our cycle for a take home baby and it said "it's decidedly so" or something like that. I did however ask it if we will get our BFP before Christmas and it said "yes". I realized I was not specific enough and asked the question again specifying 2013 and it said "no". I have NO CLUE why I am putting so much faith in a plastic fortune teller. I guess I've reached the point of desperation.

Update on my sister. She is pretty much sick everyday and in bed 80% of the day. She gets winded just walking to the kitchen. I am unable to be with her as much as I would like but my neice and nephew and mom are there. I still take her to all her doctor appointments though. It is the one thing only I can do or as my mother says " thank God you are strong enough for this".

Bloggie World life is not fair. Fair is a place you ride the ferris wheel and get funnel cakes.

Have a good day Bloggie World and cherish the time you have with those you love.