Sunday, July 21, 2013

I Should B stronger

Today was a rough emotional day. 

In fact I'm still dealing with the emotions. 

DH and I have a close circle of friends and family. They consist of both our families and friends we had as individuals and now as a married couple. It isn't that many people and some we consider closer than others. 

Today one of these people told us they will be moving out of state within the year. Being that I don't know who reads my blog I will not narrow it down more than that. Needless to say I am in shock and heartbroken. This person/persons is someone I wanted my child/children to have in their daily/weekly/monthly lives. I had this idea of how our kids would grow up together. My DH is equally upset and maybe more so as he has known them longer than me. I honestly just sat and shook a little and cried. I never dreamt this person would move away. Some other friends/family also have talked about wanting to move away in the next five or so years but never before has this person said anything. I've never even considered it. They were always a constant in my mind. While we understand logically why they want/need to move, on a personal level it is not something we can accept. They asked us not to share this info and it makes it harder. People I would normally turn to when I'm upset I can't because they know them too. DH can't even talk about it. He said he needed a few days before he can get to that point. To see him this upset is very upsetting to me as he is not an overly emotional guy. We know they are serious as they have already been applying to jobs and as soon as one is found they will be starting the moving process. This means it could be sooner than a year. We really don't know. Rationally I get it but it still hurts. 

I am sad. 

Today also marks CD1 for me. A cycle sister I had in my support group got her BFP. I am happy for her. It is hard though to see it. For some reason it is more hard this cycle. Maybe it is because it was our first month with clomid. I admit I wanted to be that couple that got it right the first month. We will be doing clomid again this cycle days 5-9. 


This week was finals week for three out of my five summer classes. I am exhausted. I am also happy to say only 3 more weeks till I am done! This is an emotional thing for me since I never thought I would or could achieve this. I am the first generation in my family to graduate from college. It is a BIG deal. 


Well these events have led me to be uber  emotional today. I've cried so much today I feel like my eyes need diapers or at least a nighttime maxi pad. They are just leaking. One tear at a time every few minutes. Today is a weepy day. 

Am I the only one this happens to? 

I am thinking it may be because it is the first day of AF. For the average person this day can lead to strong emotions but for an IF person it comes with a bunch more. 

I've felt so stressed and overwhelmed this week that I've even fallen off the weight watchers wagon. I've probably gained ten pounds. 

 You have to be down to get back up and I will. 

I just need to be STRONGER. 

I hope you are having a strong day Bloggie world. Thank you for reading my random blog. 

Have a glorious day!


  1. I wish I could give you a hug. I'm sorry you had to get that news. I do not adjust well to change like that and when my best friend moved out of the country I was devastated. That situation was fast tracked and they had to leave about 2 1/2 months after we found out. I know you'll make the best of the time you have left with them right here. I know what you're feeling and I'm so sorry. Let yourself go through all those emotions. Thinking of you. XOXO

  2. Oh, Heather. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time right now. That all sounds terrible.

    On a positive note, you're almost done with college!!!! That's so awesome!! I'm so happy for you. My husband just graduated in the spring after starting college 10 years ago. He still talks about it every day about being so happy he went back and finished. Congratulations!

    Keep your chin up. Let me know if I can do anything to help. xoxo

  3. I hope you are feeling much better now! That is rough, having all that thrown at you, in addition to your visit from AF. Change is always hard. Hugs!