I Should B Commenting

Welcome ICLWers!

This is my first time participating in ICLW.

I am new to blogging.

I am random and my blog reflects that.

I hope you enjoy my blog.

Have a great day and happy commenting!

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Hey bloggie world.

I just wanted to mention that I have not O yet. I am thinking this cycle is a bust, but I'm holding onto hope.

In running news, I am on week 4 towards my 5k goal. Running still isn't something I would call fun , however I do look forward to it on some days.

On the weight loss front, I only lost .5 pounds this week. I am thankful for a loss even a small one. Slow and steady wins the race (no idea what race exactly). I have lost a total of 23.9 pounds in 3 months. It is difficult but I keep reminding myself that this is for not only my health but for my future children too. I want to have a healthy pregnancy whenever we get our BFP. Plus for us Cysters the doctors always say losing even 10 pounds can affect our ovulation positively.

I hope everyone reading this is having a great day and that you will come back to read more of my posts.

I Should B glad

So us infertiles deal with a lot of emotions when someone posts they are pregnant. The emotions can range from anger, sadness, jealously, despair, or a whole bunch of others combined. As an infertile I do have those range of emotions when someone announces a pregnancy. However, I have these feelings also when people share they have ovulated. Ovulation for me has not been easy these last few months. It actually hasn't happened at all. This is my first cycle on Metformin and I'm spotting dark brown. I am on CD 14 and no ovulation. My cycles are typically 35-38 days.

I guess my main upset right now is I would like to be able to at least be in the running (let's face it, it's a race) to get pregnant.

I am in a funk, my body is in a funk, and my emotions are up and down. My DH is being supportive as much as possible but he is confused too. It's not fair that its my body and I can't do anything to help explain it to him. Yep this funk is annoying. I know my time will come , but I wish I could have a countdown ticker so I know how much longer I have to wait to have my O day. I know the funk will also pass but for now I'm stuck. It probably does not help my funk that I'm in finals crunch at school.

I cannot seem to get this funk off me. I tried to clear my head by reading and the funk just read with me. I tried to go for a relaxing swim and the funk came for a swim too. I even went to paint pottery and low and behold the funk was painting with me. Even as I write this the funk has joined in.

Next cycle I pray will have an O day and be lacking this funk.

This post really has no purpose except for me to put my funk in words. I just saw that funk is a genre of music. That is not what type of funk I'm in.

Have a good day bloggie buddies and I hope my funk didn't get on you. Try Lysol it might help. I'm all out of it so I can't say it will or won't help. It can't hurt.

I Should B Thankful

I am beyond thankful for my DH. He and I really do compliment each other and it makes me so happy.

Yesterday we had plans to have dinner with DH brother and wife.

The plan was to go out to eat and then come back to our place for fun visiting and games.

Well, this meant the house needed a good cleaning. I mean I can't have my BIL and SIL over and not have the bed made or house dusted. I know I sound crazy but it really is how I feel. I have only been officially part of the family for 4 months (even though we dated for awhile before marriage). It is important to me that the apartment look nice.

So, I woke up early to get to work on our place. DH was still sleeping as I didn't want to wake him and make him clean because I'm freaking out. Well, DH got up and said we should do it together! I just love him! Best part is he did all the vacuuming!!! I detest the vacuum and always ALWAYS have hated doing it. I mean I'd prefer cleaning the toilet (which I did) instead of vacuuming. DH took care of dusting and loads of other stuff while I scrubbed things I'm sure nobody but me would even notice. We were able to finish cleaning in a little over an hour! It would have taken me all day to do it but teamwork made it not only quicker but fun. Love my DH!

We went out to dinner with BIL and SIL. It is a treat for them as they have three daughters (twins-8yrs old, singleton,3yrs old). When we came back to our place we played Catchphrase. It was tons of fun! We did best out of 7 and DH and I won! It was tied up going into the last game.

I am thankful for these fun times and having a great DH.

I Should B relaxing

I wish I was relaxing more. I am now in the last few weeks of the semester and it is CRUNCH TIME!!

So a quick update of life--

Today was weigh-in day and I am down another 3.3 pounds with a total of 23.3 pounds lost. This is only 1.1 pound away from losing 10% of my starting weight !!! I am so proud of myself. It has taken three months but I wouldn't trade anything and I am looking forward to more weight loss.

DH is down 15 pounds in 1.5 months. Proud of him, but dang it why do guys lose weight so quickly?!?! It's annoying!!

I'm on CD6 which will more than likely be the last day of AF. Strange enough my CBM had me check my ovulation levels(low). This means for the next ten to twenty days I will be testing. Either till I get a peak or don't peak within that time frame. I am hoping with the weight loss and Metformin that I will ovulate(peak) this cycle. If not, then I will be adding soy isoflavones (you can read about it here http://fertility-challenged.blogspot.com/2008/07/soy-isoflavones-natural-clomid.html). It is the natural clomid. If a few cycles of this is not successful then it will be back to the drawing board.

That's about it for now. Sorry its so short but I'm exhausted and need to get to bed.

I hope you bloggie people are doing well.

I Should B used to this by now

Well it is technically CD 3. AF has hit me so hard that I am nauseous. I also have severe backache and cramps. I normally only cramp and have backaches on my right side but this cycle it is on both sides. Being that I have Endo my AF cramps can be pretty bad. I have prescribed pain killers for this exact reason. I hate taking them though. I chalk this current pain version of AF up to metformin as it is the only new thing. In essence this means the metformin is working but golly gee I forgot how bad AF can be with it.

I have been up and down all night in pain. I have had MAYBE 1.5 combined hours of sleep. I have taken pain meds. I have used the heating pad. I even resorted to a very hot bath at 4 am. Pretty much anything to help the pain. While these things all help lessen the pain, nothing makes it go away.
It is moments like this that I remind myself (almost in a chant) that all this will be worth it in the end. I am thankful DH is a fairly heavy sleeper and I have not kept him awake. I have class today at 2pm but I emailed my prof. at 3am explaining I would not be able to attend. I hate missing class but driving on such little sleep is unsafe.

I know this post has been all over the place but it is difficult to concentrate while in so much pain.

I am blogging now because it is better than yelling/crying/screaming about it.

Sorry if it is TMI. But just for reference for those without Endometriosis, I have read that Endo pains can be as painful as childbirth. I have no point of reference for the childbirth pain level but I can tell you that AF with Endo. pains is this most painful thing I have experienced to date. I have had a ceiling collapse on me and limbs broken and it was not this bad. Mainly pain medication could give the illusion that the pain was bearable in those situations. However, nothing can do this for my Endo. pains. At one point I was on a double dose of Vicodin and taking muscle relaxers (doc prescribed both) and all it did was make me totally out of it. The pain was still there albeit slightly bearable. I immediately told the dr that if I'm still going to feel it then what is the point of the meds. So now I take the pain medicines on very rare occasions. For the amount of pain I am experiencing I would think AF would be super heavy. While I am having to change super plus tampons every two hours, it is still not the heaviest flow I've had (sorry TMI again).
As I type this my eyelids are drooping and the pain meds are kicking in. I will try and sleep some before the pain wakes me up again.

Sorry for the random ramblings.

Hope your week is well.

I Should B Annoyed

Not only should I be annoyed but I really am annoyed.

Today's post is brought to you by Facebook horrors/honors (a term I created). I will be doing periodical posts about the stuff that I see in my newsfeed or on Facebook in general.

Today I logged into Facebook just like every other day. It is something that is part of my morning routine (I'm pretty sure this is a bad thing).

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The first post to jump out at me was a distant family member complaining about her child. She said she'd always looked forward to her son talking when he was a baby. Now all he does is talk nonstop and apparently it is driving her crazy and does anyone want him.

Ummm hello?!?! How can you say that?!?!?! I'LL TAKE HIM!! I know she is just venting but she really should be thankful of her child (she has 2). I understand children can be a handful. I was a nanny for 6 years. However, children are a blessing.

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Next up a friend posted a photo of something she saw while driving today (photo was taken at a red light). It was a photo of a man and a woman on a motorcycle with a two year old sandwiched between them. None of them had helmets on. She vented the child should be taken from them.

My first reaction to the photo was utter shock! Why would you endanger yourself without a helmet on a motorcycle?? In Florida a helmet is not required for adults on motorcycles but it is required for children. Yet another Florida law I do not understand. Plus to put a child's life at risk to this degree breaks my heart. It is clear they have taken that blessing for granted. It made me feel better to know a FB friend without IF problems feels the same. Sometimes I wonder if it is just us IF people that think like this. I know if I were her I would have called the police to report the child neglect that was happening.

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The last one for today is both a horror and a happy FB story.

One of the groups I follow on FB posted a fan question. A woman and her husband have 16mo twins. They just took in a 2 1/2 yo boy who was removed from his family due to neglect and violence. They were asking the group advice on how to attempt potty training.

While I do not have my own children yet, nannying has taught me a wealth of knowledge plus i went through a nanny certification program. Also I am a psych. major who will be entering the mental health field. So I felt I could provide a useful tip. First I explained that due to past trauma the child has experienced it would be more beneficial for the child to get acclimated to his new environment before introducing another change. Plus make potty training as fun as possible. It can help not only the child but you as well.
While it saddens and angers me that this small child's first home was traumatic, it makes me so happy to know there are people out there willing to open their homes up to children in need. Especially when the new family already has their hands full with twins.

It is nice to get a reminder from FB that not everyone complains or posts food all the time.

Do you have any FB horror/honor stories?

I Should B Proud

Thursdays are my weigh in days with Weight Watchers. As of today I have lost 20.1pounds! I am so happy to be able to say this :-) I was letting myself get out of control.
On my birthday this year(January) I decided this would be a gift to myself and my future. It is wonderful to be able to wear clothes that I'd pushed to the back of the closest. My weight loss journey is nowhere close to being complete but I'm twenty pounds closer to the end. I have not only joined WW but I have also started running.
I used to ask people why they ran. Did they run because someone was chasing them? My joke was always, I'd prefer to conserve my energy to just fight off the attacker rather then being tired when I am caught. It was my attempt at humor. A way to rationalize why I wasn't running.

Now,I run for me. I run for my future. I run for my health. I do not in anyway enjoy running. In fact, I HATE RUNNING! But sometimes you have to do things you do not like in life. Some people say I will learn to like running. I am not sure if I will enjoy it but I will enjoy the results of running. I will be able to outrun that attacker and not have to worry about them catching me :)

This week I also stopped drinking caffeine. I believe this is harder than running. Lol. My headaches are terrible but I know that is a sign I should've done this a long time ago.

Also, no caffeine and weight loss are things that will help with infertility it won't make it go away but it will help. Plus this is something I can actually do. This way I feel like I'm trying everything.

I hope all those reading this are well. A big thank you to Teresa over at "Where the bleep is our stork" (i have no idea how to link your blog) for helping me to kick start the no caffeine idea. She too is doing the no caffeine thing. Anybody else want to join us?