Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Today is CD3. That's right, another failed cycle.
We have decided to take an extended break from TI and medicated cycles. I am okay 90% of the time. I know we need the break. This of course does not mean I will stop temping most mornings or taking my metformin (at a lower dosage). The metformin helps me with my IR which affects many aspects of my body.
In these following months our focus will shift to getting healthier. I even signed up for another 5k. It is the Zombie 5k :-) yep I'm gonna run from zombies! I hope I survive. I am going to get back on the weight watchers wagon. Losing any amount of weight will benefit me in many ways. Hey if I can ovulate and possibly get pregnant then that's ok too.
I have been using our TI, possible pregnancies, and medications as excuses. I stopped exercising because the medicine was having adverse effects. I used the idea that a pregnancy could be just around the corner so I didn't sign up for runs or plan things too far in advance. I stopped caffeine. I stopped drinking.
I basically let TTC control me and put parts of my life on hold.
It did not even hit me that I was doing this until I was so excited to sign up to run from zombies. There is no way I would have done that a week ago. The run is in November and I would not have wanted to spend the money and not be able to participate. Now I will sign up for things. I will buy new clothes (hopefully smaller) without worrying that they may not fit in a few months and just put them back.
I put too much into TTC and lost parts of myself along the way.
This next chapter will be about finding me again and remembering how that is important to me.
As a counselor I know what a person should and should not do. I know what their actions mean and don't mean. However, I have never been good at analyzing myself. I will take a step back and figure it out.
This is just another chapter in our journey to getting our happy ending.
I don't know what I'll write about on my blog but I will write. Please stick with me as I figure out this thing called life.
Have a good day Bloggie world and do something today that makes you smile :-)
Posted by Heather S. @ I Should B ... at 4:15 PM
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Tonight was Date Night with DH. We went to a place that serves dinner while playing a movie. It was a cute movie but not too great. The movie couldn't hold my attention throughout the entire thing. One reason that I love movies is that they can take me away from my world for just a little while. Since that didn't happen tonight my mind went to the topic it normally does,TTC. I know I am not the only one that thinks about this 9 out of 10 times. I came to the conclusion/realization that if this is not our BFP cycle then I want wait no I NEED to take next cycle off. My main reason is I need a mental/emotional break from TTC. Another reason for the break is my new job. Me and my body will be getting used to working crazy shifts. More than likely ill be all over the place with my shifts as ill be the newbie. I am looking forward to it actually :-). This will be an adjustment to DH and my relationship too. We will have to get used to it and TI during all this would not help. So, yep we will take a break. One part of me is happy and another part is sad/lost. Mostly though I'm relieved. The weight on my shoulders has lifted.
I don't know if this break will only be for one cycle or many cycles. We will just take it one day at a time.
Today I am 8DPO. I have felt differently during this TWW than past ones. I've had tender breasts and been sleeping more. However, this could be attributed to being in a higher dose of clomid this cycle and being out of school.
We are not out of the game till AF shows her nasty head.
Have a fun weekend Bloggie world and as always, thanks for reading.
Posted by Heather S. @ I Should B ... at 3:05 AM
Thursday, September 12, 2013
I'm sure many of you have noticed my lack of posting. I apologize for this. I thought once I graduated that I'd have all this free time and in turn be posting all the time. Instead I've been applying to jobs and perfecting my résumé.
Funny how things never seem to work how you planned.
Speaking of plans...
I had a plan for myself when it came to my career after graduation. I was going to apply at certain places and they would all be knocking at my door based in my enthusiasm and education. Let's face it, I'm awesome and everyone else will see this too. Yeah that bubble quickly deflated with the words "experience required". I know I am not the first person to face this dilemma. How do you get experience without someone giving you a chance? So, I resorted to applying to lower level positions that I was over educated for just to get my foot in the door. I was willing to change bed pans if I had to. Of course then I got the "your over qualified" response. Yep I couldn't win. While I was getting responses to my resume and applications, I was not getting interviews. I needed at least one to feel like all my hard work at finding a job was paying off (it isn't easy). Then it happened. I received a call from a facility i had applied for a lower level position. It was a starting point. I had an interview.
The interview went well over an hour long. My interviewer asked why I wanted the position I'd applied for since it was clear my education exceeded the requirements. I was honest. I said to get my foot in the door. Apparently that was the right answer because he told me he would like to hire me ,but not for the position I'd applied for. For a position they had not even posted yet. For the position that I really wanted that other places would not let me even interview for.
I am gainfully employed !!!!!! (I start in October)
I did it!!!!!
I got a "real grown up job" !
So this just proves that never giving up pays off in the end.
I hope the same applies to TTC.
I am 6DPO in the awful TWW.
I'm off to have a celebratory dance with my cat. I hope he doesn't barf on me :-)
Thanks for reading Bloggie world and have a fab day.
Posted by Heather S. @ I Should B ... at 11:07 AM