I Should B making this my theme song

Just discovered this music video.

It is a country song about infertility. 

It seriously could be my theme song. 

I had a good friend get pregnant at 14 years old in high school. I had a friend that gave up a baby for adoption at 18 years old while in college. I have a friend that chose to have an abortion at 21 years old. 

Le sigh :-/

http://youtu.be/JqfGqOx2iDQ

On ttc front. I start my first round of Clomid tomorrow. I am not too hopeful mainly because hope is hard to find so close to a failed cycle. 

Have a good day Bloggie world. 

I Should B paying attention

I have a midterm today :-/

It is online and due by 11:59pm

So, I have my book out to study. 

I cannot seem to stay focused. I need to study. I know I do not have all the information down pat. 

However, all I can think about is my TWW   .

I am 6DPO. 

Our timing was pretty great I think. Per FF we have a 46% chance that we conceived (based solely on TI). 46% is a high and hopeful number ,but it doesn't factor in PCOS or any other number of things that could go wrong.

So, I sit here worried and over analyzing everything we did or did not do this cycle. I am already thinking of things we can do differently if/when this is not our BFP cycle. 

Ugh!!

I wish I could turn this part of my brain off and just pay attention to my school work. 

Sadly, I know that until we get a BFP or AF shows herself I will not stop. Of course in either of those scenarios more worries will ensue. 

Am I the only one that does this to herself?

Have a good Monday Bloggie world. Thanks for stopping by. 

______________

Right after posting this I started spotting :-/ Guess I am out this cycle......

Bummer :-(

I did get a 96% on my midterm though.

Yippy!!

I Should B explaining part 4

You will need to read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 before reading this post.

__________

It took me five dates before I talked about the truth about Bob.

 He was shocked.

He knew my family history and never thought i would be one of those people to repeat the cycle. I had always been strong willed and spoke my mind. He, Al, was right. I was like that. Somehow once i was in the house with Bob i became a victim. It was so gradual i never noticed it happening. He said he had a feeling there was more to the story but never thought that was it.

Ugh, he still didn't know about my IF :-(

Dates continued and we took it kind of slow. No kisses. No hand holding. Nothing.

I was still going through my divorce. I was still "married".

I did not want to rebound. I did not want to jump into something.

Al was a good guy. If I screwed this up it could affect our mutual friendships we had with people since HS. I did not want to get hurt again.

Then i realized fear was guiding me. I was not going to stand for that!

On our next day i dropped the IF bomb.

I told him EVERY DIRTY DETAIL.

I said if it is not something he can handle then it was fine. I would not hold it against him. If he did not want to fight the IF fight with me then there was no need to continue. We could end the date right then and there and go back to seeing each other in passing at friends' events.

I wanted children (for all the right reasons this time) and I was not going to let fear or anything stop me.

I would like to point out that we still had not kissed or anything at this point in our dating.

Al had lots of questions about PCOS, Endometriosis, and IF in general. I told him it all. He said he too would like kids and if it took IVF or whatever he was okay with that. He was thankful I was being honest.

Since that went well i thought I'd just keep going. I shared all my insecurities that had resulted from IF and Bob. i told him that i would more than likely struggle with anything IF related emotionally because of my past with Bob. It would not be easy.

Al said he wasn't going anywhere. :-)

We continued to go on dates after this. My fears were gone. or as gone as they could be.

It was a day in October that we held hands for the first time. i remember that day like it was yesterday. I felt like i was in middle school. I texted my little sister about it.

I do not remember our first kiss. But i will never forget the first time we held hands.

It was not until after my divorce was final in November that i was okay with sleeping with Al.

Things moved pretty quickly after that.

We took on the mindset of "if it ( pregnancy) happens it happens" in April

We moved in together in July.

Engaged in August

Married in December.

It has been 6 months to the day since we were married.


His strength throughout our TTC journey has been great. Not perfect because i do not need or want perfection. I have had many times where i flash back to times with Bob and how he reacted to things. It is both refreshing and wonderful that i do not have to worry about these things with Al.

I know i needed to experience what i did to be able to love and appreciate what Al and I have.

My IF journey has not been typical. But it has not stopped in over 3 years.

The emotions. fear and insecurities of being an infertile are with me daily. I am not always positive. I am not always able to think optimistically. Some days I cry more than i would like to admit. I cry because IF is hard. I cry because IF is not fair. I cry because in a way I am thankful for IF. I am thankful that it essentially tore apart an unhealthy marriage. The fear of it affecting this marriage is always there in the back of my head. I suppose the things Bob said and did to me always will be. But i do not let these fears control me. I share these fears with Al. together we work through them.

I know i was not meant to be with Bob or have a child with him.

I was meant to be with Al, my DH.

Al will be a wonderful father and I cannot wait for the day we will have a child of our own in our arms.

___

Thank you for reading my IF journey. It is not a traditional journey but it is mine.

This time around honesty is the route i have chosen. My doctors think it was the type of relationship that I was in that led to the miscarriage and unsuccessful cycles. Stress has a large affect on women's bodies. We are hopeful that with my weightloss, the right medications, and a healthy environment that a BFP is around the corner. It may not be easy but we are ready for the challenge.

Have a good day Bloggie world :-)

I Should B explaining part 3

You will need to read Part One and Part Two before reading this post.

Part three...



Living with Betty wasn't easy.

What was surprisingly easy was getting over Bob.

After that day in the hospital i did not shed another tear about it.

I took the whole situation rather well.

Once i knew we were over it was like any excuses and feelings I had about Bob just dissappeared. All i saw were the facts. The facts were that I do not think I really loved Bob. Not even the day we were married. What kept me going was fear.

Fear of change. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being wanted.

I had been lying to myself a long time.

Betty helped me come to the decision to go back to school.

Betty also thought i should start dating. I did not.

I knew i would never find someone that would want to be with an overweight infertile. Just like Bob said.

Betty set me up on blind dates. I went on them to be nice.

Just before my lap surgery an old friend from my high school days friended me on FB. I never accepted it for fear of Bob's reaction since this friend was a guy.

Two months after leaving Bob i accepted the request.

We FB messaged and decided to meet up to catch up as old friend do.

I was nervous. I mean it wasn't a "date" but this was a cute boy from HS. I had changed so much and looked awful. But i wanted to meet up.

He explained he had heard about everything (or so he thought) about me and Bob. We still had mutual friends and word travels. The last time he and I had any contact was over ten years ago. We had seen each other at friends BBQ's, baby showers, and wedding throughout the years. We both pretty much "knew" what has happened in each others lives.

After that day I KNEW i wanted to date this man. It was the first guy i had felt anything for. It was exciting.

Now how did i convince him he wanted to be with me???

We were texting one night (we did this often) and i decided to put myself out there. I had survived Bob. I could survive anything.

 I would not let fear control me as i had in the past.

I told him i would not hate it if we went on a date.

He didn't respond for almost 18 hours.

He said how about we go to the beach and hang out.

I was terrified. Nobody would want to see me in a bathing suit and then want to date me.

Betty disagreed

i spent days picking out the right outfit and going over what i would say.

 Do i tell him about Bob? Tell him I'm an infertile?

He showed up at my place and was wearing normal clothes. I asked him if we were still going to the beach. He said yes but just thought we could walk and talk.

We talked about everything except Bob and IF.

It was a great date.

______

okay wow!! this IS getting long!

Thanks for those still reading. I am sorry it is taking so long, but I want to get it all out there and never have to explain it again.

I Should B explaining part 2

To understand this post you will need to read Part One

before continuing I want to mention that I did have a friend that i confided in during the time i was with Bob. This friend, lets call her Betty. Betty helped me in more ways than i can thank her.

____

now to continue the explaining....


When i woke up from the lap the doctor was there (talk about luck).

He told me the surgery was a success.

However, they found some endometriosis. He did not see it being an issue since they removed it and did the drilling. I should be pregnant within at the most three months.

After the doctor left Bob held my hand and told me he was done.

 He was done with me.

 He was done with this IF crap.

He was done wasting money on something that wasn't going to work.

He was done.

He was in love with his girlfriend. He wanted to date her. He did not want to be attached to someone like me. How could any man want to be with a woman that is essentially not a woman since she cant even have children.

to say i lost it would not cover my reaction.

I laid there with tears streaming down my face.

My blood pressure and heart rate raised so quickly that my monitors started beeping.

The nurses came in and wanted to know what was wrong. I of course could not tell them the truth. I told them i didn't know and just didn't feel right

They would not release me from the hospital.

They were keeping me over night.

When they mentioned that Bob could not stay i had a panic attack.I knew if he left that room then my life as i knew it would be over and i would never see him again.I was terrified of the unknown. After the attack they let Bob stay.Bob was never one to appear to be a bad person to the public so he put on the doting husband attitude.It was the best i'd been treated by him in years.

I fell asleep.

I woke up and he was gone. I had another panic attack.The hospital kept me another night baffled at way my heart rate and blood pressure would not drop.

I was too embarrassed to tell them the truth.

Bob returned and said he and his girlfriend had packed up some of my stuff and it and my car were parked in the lot at the hospital. I was not to return to our place. i needed to find a new place to live and he left.

Yep another panic attack.

I called my mom. I did not tell her what had happened with Bob. I told her this surgery was scarier than i thought and i just wanted my mom to help me. Cause a girl just needs her mom sometimes.

After being in the hospital for three days from an surgery that was not supposed to keep me even one night. i was released.

I explained to my mom that Bob had to work. He could not take anymore time off from work for fear he would lose his job.

my mom was just happy to be needed.

I called Betty while my mom was asleep and explained everything. She knew this was coming she told me. She had a plan. Betty came and got my keys for my place with Bob. She called him and said she was coming to get my stuff. He gave he a window of time to pick it up the next day. I decided i needed to go with Betty. I needed the closure.

Betty arranged for a uhaul and a storage unit. She said after i was done recovering her and I would live together and she would help me get on my feet.

I did not have a job (Bob didn't like me to). I did not have my bachelors degree (Bob said it was student loans or a baby not both). I did not know how to survive (Bob handled the bills since it was his money). It was like all the knowledge i had before Bob was gone.

Betty put out a facebook blast for help with the moving.

It read something like this:

"need help ASAP. Cheating husband has kicked out my BFF to be with his girlfriend. We need to move her stuff out NOW. Please help! Address is...."

I was surprised at how many people showed up. People i had never met.

They wanted to take everything that wasn't nailed down. I wouldn't let them. I told them to leave stuff. I wasn't raised to be vengeful and I wanted to leave the marriage knowing i did not do anything hurtful or negative. I was not going to give him any ammo to use in the divorce.

He filed the divorce papers the next day,

I didn't fight it. I just wanted to be done and move on.
_____

this ends Part two.

I Should B explaining part 1

Recently I read a blog where the author mentioned she had only been trying for a few months and felt like she could not "fit in" with those women that have been ttc with IF for years.

I offered up advice that there was no one mold that each person had to fit in. That we are happy to pass on our experiences in hopes that it makes the next persons journey just a little easier. 

After posting that I realized something. 

I have never explained/shared my IF journey. 

To most people it only seems like we have only been trying for 6 months. This is both true and untrue. 

I will do my best to explain. 

THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. Maybe two posts ... Maybe three

This is not easy to share. 

This will be that hardest thing I've ever written and shared. 

--------

In 2006 I started dating a man. Let's call him Bob (not even close to his real name). Bob and I dated for a year before deciding to move in together. At that time in my life I did not want children. I was happily taking BCP. The relationship that Bob and I had was mostly full of good days. One day in 2008 we had a very bad day. I will spare you the awful details but it ended in a phone call to 911for I feared my life. I did not look my best after that day. I always swore I would never allow a man to lay a hand on me since I grew up in an abusive household. I told Bob we were over. I asked him to move out of our place. Watching him leave was heart breaking. About three hours after he left I wanted him back. There were more good days than bad. One lapse should not end all the good years we had together. He promised to never let it happen again and I let him move home. It was almost a year before it did happen again. I convinced myself that twice in three years really isn't too bad. In the house I grew up in it was a daily occurrence. After that episode I got it into my head that kids would solve the problem (I know! Stupid!). So I stopped my BCP and told Bob it was because they made me gain weight. He agreed I should lose weight as I was "getting too fat to love" ( yes he really said that). A few months later we decided that marriage would bind us together and any insecurities that either of us had would be  gone once it happened. There was no fancy proposal. Our families were over the moon excited. Neither of them knew the real kind of relationship we had. If I shared it then it meant it was real. I just "knew" that marriage and a baby would fix everything. Then I would have the perfect life. 

In 2010 we got married. By that point the episodes (no idea why i think this is a good term for abuse) had escalated with the added stress of a wedding. I just "knew" it would get better once the wedding was over because we would not be stressed. 

We were "lucky"enough to get pregnant just after the honeymoon. He never really wanted kids but was happy about it. There were no episodes. The verbal abuse was at its worse (fat, useless, unattractive) but it wasn't physical so that was "ok". I miscarried the baby at approximately ten weeks. I was alone in the bathroom when it happened. It was and is the worst experience i have ever lived through. 

At the insistence of my mother I went to the doctor to make sure I was ok.  

Turns out I wasn't 

I needed a D & C.

I did not want one and opted for medicine instead. 

I had a follow up appointment and that is when it all hit the fan. 

I had PCOS (after bloodwork and ultrasounds). I was handed a pamphlet and a referral to an RE and sent on my way. 

I was in shock!

Bob was at the appointment and didn't know what to think. Then after more research we figured it out. We were lucky to even get pregnant that first time. PCOS is not pretty. But I was optimistic that with an RE we would get pregnant in a few months. We did all the tests he was fine and I was the problem. 

It was my fault. 

This did not have a positive effect on the episodes and their frequency. 

The more we saw the RE the more the episodes tore me emotionally apart. I "knew" it was just the stress of ttc he really didn't mean it. 

He didn't mean it when he began sleeping with someone ten years younger than me. He told me he needed to have sex that isn't planned and just fun. I "understood" and let it be. After all if I got a baby then I don't care. A baby would never hurt me like Bob. A baby was my light at the end of this dark tunnel. 

I took metformin. It started to regulate my cycles. I took clomid and I ovulated.  I had an HCG (the dye that checks your tubes) and it came back normal. I expressed to my RE that "we" wanted a baby now. So aggressive measures were okay. A lap was planned to do ovarian drilling and check for endometriosis. 

During all this Bob and I were only having sex maybe twice a cycle and only when I begged. The stress of the money and treatments and miscarriage were piling up. 

I was an emotional wreck. 

The day of the lap I was nervous as it was my first surgery. Bob had been extra nice and sweet that week so I "knew" we would overcome IF and come out on top. 

------

That concludes part one of this story. 

At this point it has been 9 months of dealing with an RE and all that entails. 

I Should B sorry

Yesterday was CD20. I did my morning tests. 

CBFM= peak (most fertile)

CB dOPK = smiley face (positive)

FR OPK = 1 dark line & 1 light line (negative)

Here is a photo of  the tests.  

Last night at around 10pm I tested again. 

CB dOPK = smiley face (positive)

Wondfo OPK = two strong lines (positive)

I knew we needed to BD yesterday. DH doesn't like to know the O days so I didn't tell him. 

Oh, before I continue we did BD around 4 am yesterday. 

Much to my detriment, DH had terrible indigestion yesterday and all through the night. We tried to BD but he just wasn't comfortable and it was really bothering him. 

So, I went to bed last night sad that we had missed our chance. 

This morning I woke up with terrible ovulation cramps. I panicked. This was it. Ovulation is happening. I didn't want all this tracking and testing to be for nothing. 

I wanted to BD NOW so we didn't miss our chance. 

DH was already up and getting ready for work. 

Subtlety was not going to work. 

So, I said, " um we need to have sex".

DH : "like now?"

Me:  "yep"

DH: "why"

Me: " because  I'm ovulating"

DH: " do you see what time it is? I have to get to work"

Me: "you've left late before"

DH: " I have a deadline I can't be late"

Me: in a nasty tone :-( " fine we will just get pregnant next month !"

DH: not a nasty tone " I know this is a big deal, but if I lose my job that would be pretty terrible"

Me: still nasty tone "fine, whatever"

I then changed the subject. 

I kissed him goodbye and said, "I love you" when he left for work minutes later. 

Now he is gone and I am a HOT MESS. I have so many emotions running through me. 

Anger: 

I'm angry at me for getting nasty. There was no need for it and it didn't help anything. 

I'm angry at IF and that we need TI and testing.

I'm angry with DH for having indigestion last night and then saying no this morning to go to work. 

I am angry with my body. Why can't it be normal. Why do other women have babies and get pregnant and I can't ?!?!

I am mostly ANGRY with myself for getting so worked up about this. 

Sadness: 

I am sad that I could snap at DH like that. 

I am sad that this might mean we have to wait longer for our BFP and take home baby. 

Hurt:

I am hurt at being rejected (although I get it) by my DH. No matter the circumstances, being rejected hurts. 

Tears are running down my face as all these emotions are overwhelming. 

Now I just feel regret. 

I am so sorry I got nasty and felt anger. Why does this happen???

I tested with the CBFM, CB digital OPK and a FR OPK this morning. (After DH left)

CBFM= Peak

CB dOPK = open circle (negative)

FR OPK = 1 dark line & 1 slightly dark line (i think its positive)

Here is a picture of the tests

Now, I am hopeful that if we BD tonight that we may not have missed our window of opportunity. 

Sadly I know if we get a BFN this cycle I will always look back and wonder "what if" 

Ugh !!!

I hate IF !

I hate TI !

I hate how emotional I am about all this !

I have sent a sorry test to DH and all is well. 

Sorry you had to see my nastiness bloggie world. I would like to say it'll be my last but I know that IF can bring out the worst in us sometimes (this is my first experience with it)

Do you think we missed our window? Or do you think the window is still open?

Please be honest. Sugar coating and false hopes are not what I need right now. Sorry if that is harsh but its true. 

Have a good day and thanks for stopping by! 

I Should B a Super Sweet Blogger

I am honored to say I have been nominated TWICE for the Super Sweet Blogging Award.

Thank the blogger who nominated you: 

Thank you Teresa and Jennifer!!

 Teresa I would not be in this blogging world. I found her blog by chance through Pinterest. Since day one she has been welcoming. She has not said any of my questions were silly or that i was asking too many. Teresa is such a wonderful advocate for the infertility community. In fact, I would not know Jennifer without Teresa. Teresa introduced Jennifer and I without realizing we both live in the same town. It is wonderful to have someone so close that understands the struggles of IF.

Thank you both again!

Answer 5 super sweet questions:

1. Cookies or Cake? Cookies! specifically Publix sugar cookies a.k.a. "crack cookies" because 1 cookie is not enough

2. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla. I do not know why but nothing beats vanilla flavored things.

3. Favorite Sweet Treat? Crack Cookies (see question one)

4. When do you crave sweet things the most? Normally near AF I crave sweets. However, i could go for sweets anytime really

5. Sweet nickname? hmmmm I don't think I have one. my grandma used to call me "sugar" but i think that was more of a southern thing and not a term of endearment.

Nominate 12 other bloggers:

1. Teresa at Where the *bleep* is our stork? . As I mentioned before i would not be part of this blogging world without Teresa. She is super Sweet for all the hard work she not only does for herself during her IF struggles , but how she helps others as well.

2. Toni at Just T has welcomed me with open arms into a wonderful group. She has been Sweet for answering my questions no matter how redundant. Toni is also a cheerleader for most of us. She encourages use to POAS and be strong. She is there to laugh and cry with us.

3. Amber at Old Lady and No Baby is such a wonderful woman. And she is currently pregnant and awaiting the results of her 2nd Beta test. Amber is a softball coach that is more than a coach to her players. She is Sweet to share her struggle with the girls so they understand what it truly means to appreciate what you have and not take it for granted.

4. Courtney at Our Pathway to Parenthood has just given birth to the Sweetest baby girl after a long struggle with IF. She has been a wonderful example on how to remain true to your faith no matter the struggles that you face.

5. Liz at Wishing on a Snowflake is a constant reminder to not let our bad experiences let us down. Even though she has just recently suffered a miscarriage, she has stayed positive. She has never forgotten her journey and keeps looking forward to the future that lies ahead. She is super Sweet to her angel baby Maggie.

6. Lisa at Our Journey to a Family of Four is expect twins. what is more super Sweet than twins?? Lisa has been wonderfully sharing her pregnancy with the twin through her blog. It is good to know what to expect once i get a BFP

7. Barbara at A Mom's Adventure posted about her struggle with OPKs and without that i do not think i would be able to still look at them. She is also Sweet enough to review cloth diapers with her first child and share their experiences as she awaits the arrival of her second child. Her reviews on cloth diapers make me actually consider it.

8. Rebecca at Life of an Army Wife is battling IF as well. She is also battling with the Army to get proper treatment. Rebecca is Sweet to advocate for herself and pave the way for any future Army wives that suffer infertility.

9. Risa at Who Shot Down My Stork? is at the beginning of a cycle for IF. She is introducing injectable medications. Her humor throughout this time is Sweet and refreshing.

10. Emi at pr0ject p0pulate penningt0n is expecting her first Sweet child. Her and her DH did it naturally right before they were going to start more extreme infertility treatments. She is Sweet in sharing their journey with funny photos and videos.

11. Megan at My new journey with being a mom after infertility and battling my weight is such a Sweet woman for continuing her blogging after her struggle with infertility. Her kids are super cute.

12. Jennifer at It's Jennifer Juniper. She is new to the IF community but I can already tell how Sweet she is. She is always there with encouraging words. Plus, we live in the same town and we have to stick together!

Thanks for reading Bloggie world.

I Should B confused???

Nothing confuses me more than OPKs. 

Since I question my bodies' ability to ovulate and the validity of just one brand of OPK, I test with two different brands. 

Today, CD16, I woke up, took my BBT (97.08) and peed in my trusty sample cup. I placed the First Response test in the cup, waited the allotted time and then set it on the counter. Next I put the Clear Blue test stick into the digital reader and held that in the cup for the allotted time. By this time the FR OPK was reading negative (dark control line and faint test line). 

I was okay with this negative reading as last cycle I got my +OPK around CD20. 

I then went about my morning ritual completely forgetting about the CB digital OPK. The digital takes FIVE MINUTES to show results. 

Five minutes is forever!!!!!

I come back to the bathroom and notice the CB OPK has a smiley 😀 face flashing on it.

At this point I am dumbfounded. Why would I get a negative on a two line test and a positive on the digital?

As with all my problems, I go straight to Google. 

And Google only made me more confused :-/

I wish I had taken a photo of the smiley face but I didn't. Now all I have are these two sticks to stare at. 

How did the digital get a positive out of this?!?! 

I found some people swear buy the accuracy of the smiley face. I found some people prefer the two line test because they can see a progression towards ovulation. Some people say the digital never gave them a smiley face when the two line test was clearly positive. 

None of these people mentioned if they had PCOS. 

So, I am stumped 

I did find one lady who was stumped just like me (no PCOS to my knowledge). She was so stumped she called the CB company for help. 

They told her that the CB digital OPK will never give a false positive (really never? that is a lot of faith in technology). They said the digital test stores and compares your previous tests. It is looking for an LH surge (PCOS and LH surges have a bad track record). Once it detects a surge it will give you a smiley face. It will not give you another smiley face unless your LH surges higher than the last test. So if you don't believe the first smiley and take another test, it will not show a smiley face because there was no INCREASE in LH since the last test. 

Apparently once you get a smiley face there is no need to test anymore because this is the "God of OPK tests and it will not tell a lie".

Sorry mystery employee of CB but I'm neither that naive, dumb, stupid, or trusting. 

You are trying to say that your company produces a flawless product that is made in China?? So, your company is the only one that has figured it out and have kept it a secret.

 Are you the OPK mob?? 

Should I double check my locks after doubting your product? 

Yeah, so I will keep testing with FR OPKs. 

On the plus side DH and I were feeling pretty frisky yesterday. We BDed around 9pm and again around 3am. Both times I elevated with a pillow for 30 minutes after. 

Two questions do pop up. 

Question 1: Does the 3am BD count as an AM BD on the FF app? We had not gone to sleep yet. I counted it as twice in the same day. 

Question 2: Would lingering fluids from BD cause the almighty CB digital to give a "gasp" false positive or the FR OPK give a false negative? 

I googled both these questions (of course) and came up with no definitive answer. 

Any input from my readers would be welcomed :-) 

Just to cover our bases we will BD again tonight. It helps that the friskiness from yesterday is still with me today:-) it makes  TI seem like less "work". 

On another topic, as of today, I am down 33.7 pounds. I am trying not to say "lost weight" anymore because the weight is not lost. I am not going to put out an ad for it. I most certainly will not backpack across the country in search of it. And there will be NO reward given if the weight is found. 

It has been 4 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days since I have started this journey. It took a long time to gain the weight so it will take just as long, maybe more, to shed the weight. This month I have joined a challenge. It is to do at least 100 crunches 6xs a week. So far, I am on day 5. I decided to add 25 crunches. I have done 375 crunches (yesterday was a rest day) this month. I think this is more crunches that I have done in my lifetime! LOL. 

I continue to put my challenge with weight and life on my blog to not only keep myself accountable, but share that it is possible. Slow and steady wins the race. What works for me may not work for everyone though. It is a lot like PCOS, trial and error. 

Thanks for reading bloggie world and have a beautiful day. 

UPDATE: turns out I was using the "advanced ovulation kit" which is closer to a fertility monitor that gives low/high/peak readings. This is why the smiley face I got was flashing it meant a "high" peak day. 

So ladies if your CB digital OPK has a purple button it is the advanced kind. If it has a pink button it is the regular kind.

I have since switched to the regular Clearblue digital OPK and things are going well.